The optics of Obama sitting next to Trump at President Carter’s funeral were grotesque—a slap in the face to every American who values decency, democracy, and the legacy of Carter himself. And yet, people are bending over backward to defend Obama’s actions, labeling them as “maturity” and “civility.” Let’s take a moment to unpack the sheer insanity of being civil and polite to a demagogue—a man Obama personally called a dictator and a threat to democracy.

First let’s be clear. Trump isn’t just a political opponent—he’s a rapist, accused by multiple women, a documented malignant narcissist, and a demagogue who has torched democratic norms while stoking hatred and division. He embodies the antithesis of everything Obama claims to stand for. And yet, here you are, yukking it up with a man who has openly endangered you and your family, a man who thrives on cruelty and chaos. By sitting there, laughing alongside him, you’re not just being civil—you’re becoming complicit. You’re legitimizing his atrocities and helping to normalize the destruction he’s unleashed on yourself colleagues and family members.

Now, let’s map this out for a moment. Imagine attending an event where you knew a coworker accused by multiple women of rape was going to be present. Would you sit with that person, smiling, chatting, and publicly exuding “dignity”? What if you also knew that this coworker’s mentor—someone he idolized and took life lessons from—was considered one of the most vile human beings in recent history? Would you still sit there, swapping stories and pretending nothing was wrong?

Let’s take this thought experiment a step further. What if you found out that your coworker’s closest friend—someone he frequently partied with and bragged about picking up women with—was also revealed to be one of the most despicable monsters to ever walk the Earth? Would you still sit next to him? Would you laugh at his jokes, shake his hand, and put on a polite face for everyone in the room? Would you defend that choice by calling it “mature” or “civil”?

If your answer is yes, let’s be clear: your so-called “civility” is nothing more than cowardice in disguise. Civility without accountability doesn’t uphold decency—it empowers cruelty and emboldens those who trample over justice. Sitting next to someone like Trump isn’t about maturity; it’s about normalizing his behavior, excusing his crimes, and reinforcing the very structures of power he weaponizes to harm others. In this context, civility isn’t just grotesque—it’s a betrayal. A betrayal of the very principles you’ve used to convince others of your character, Mr. Obama and now you just toss those tenements aside to cozy up to a demagogue, rapist, and pedophile, granting him legitimacy that he does not deserve.