Well l- I wanna come back to 'cause it sounded like uh and if I'm uh misinterpreting uh the message you gave but it sound like you're supposed to work hard towards bringing light to the world and as you do you will uh be tortured and and and and beaten down and you're supposed to keep going even though that happens to you And uh that's how I feel that uh in my life I mean uh it it's probably hard for people to imagine but I think I I I do a lot to add value to the world I I do some volunteering I spent years working in soup kitchens and all this kinda stuff and have seen some really bad things happen And I feel like the more you try to bring good into the world the more beatings you will take the more beat downs you will take And we uh- Can I jump on that Sure But I just wanna I just wanna One just just one second There is a ko- a kind of catchphrase to this show that we've been using enjoy the suffering and uh lately I'm thinking that is the key to just really enjoy those beat downs and just think of it as a a badge of honor Okay now I believe- It's definitely- It's definitely a phrase Yeah It it's definitely a phrase that I I've I've repeated to people that like when I talk to them when they hear about my past life experiences I'm like "I'm I'm convinced I'm here to suffer so people can be inspired to survive through what they're going through." Okay You know what I'm saying 'Cause like similarly I've had child abuse You know my mom broke my ribs with crutches she burned me she pushed me down steps I was you know all that shit you know So Or even my first ex-wife being physically and emotionally abusive my second ex-wife just using me for money Like everything I've been through and I tell people my stories they're like "Well shit if you can do it then I can do it," and I'm like "Yeah probably." Okay I know that from my travels it's been My suffering has has come from the fact that I have to openly admit that I'm friends with Steven Ortiz and I'll probably never live that down You know Yeah Probably not I think that Steven brought enough suffering back to the world yesterday on this program so Uh but so did you have something So you know- to add to that Paul In a in a longer answer when I when I when I I did a lot of work on my shadow- Yeah to figure out the whys right That Just like Mr Ortiz said okay you you don't send You know look at the training a Navy SEAL gets Or a a a special boat operator They get they get put through hell and back They wanna bring you as close to death as they can period They wanna make you suffer so badly so that when you go do what this country asks you to do you've already experienced the worst of the worst Nothing is a surprise Now take that mentality and say "How do you build a spiritual war- warrior that's gonna be able to go out there and take darkness uh take the fight to darkness and protect people who don't understand how to protect themselves or what they're up against?" Right I I'm I'm confident in this Uh well hey hey but- If it's possible to have something darker attack me than what did when I questioned my faith man I don't think it's out there But- Wow I firmly believe that I'm prepared to take on whatever it is that darkness can throw at me Uh that's a uh- Now having said that does it concern you that uh Oh well obviously it did otherwise you wouldn't have said it Um but there's a and this is Matt's favorite favorite thing it's uh law of attraction that what you just said That what you just said is gonna attract to you the biggest and baddest out there It's like "Oh this motherfucker ain't seen shit yet." Yeah I I'm I'm cautious I'm cautious as to what I say And if you heard me before I I kind of stopped and made sure that you know the spirit world knew I was telling the story not repeating the mistake I made But yeah I I am okay
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